When children experience chronic anxiety, even well-intentioned parents who don’t want their child to suffer can end up worsening the child’s anxiety. This happens when parents try to protect their children from their fears. Here are some tips to help children break free from the cycle of anxiety.
The goal is not to eliminate nervous but to help the child cope with it
None of us want to see an unhappy child, but the best way to help children overcome anxiety is not to try to remove the pressures that cause it. It is to help them learn how to manage their anxiety and function as well as possible, even when they feel anxious. As a secondary result, the anxiety will decrease over time.
Don’t avoid things just because they make the child nervous
Avoiding things that make children anxious may provide temporary relief but can increase anxiety in the long run. If parents continually remove a child from uncomfortable situations, the child might learn to rely on this avoidance as a coping mechanism, leading to a repeating cycle of anxiety.
Respect their feelings, but don’t reinforce them
Validation of a child’s fears doesn’t mean agreeing with them. Instead of downplaying or exaggerating their anxieties, listen, empathize, and help them understand and face their fears. The goal is to convey support: “I understand you’re scared, and that’s okay. I’m here to help you through this”.
Try not to make assumptions or ignore their fears
. Reassure them that discussing their concerns is positive and show understanding. If appropriate, explain anxiety as a natural response to stress and describe it as a wave that comes and goes. Help your child find solutions to their worries in addition to talking about them.
Practice simple relaxation techniques with your child
Practice simple relaxation techniques with your child, such as taking 3 deep, slow breaths—inhale while counting to 3 and exhale for 3.
Distraction can be helpful for young children
For example, if they are anxious about going to daycare, play games on the way there, such as seeing who can spot the most red cars.
Have regular conversations while doing things together
Have regular conversations while doing things together to give your child opportunities to voice any concerns. Regular discussions can help prevent excessive, escalating, or persistent anxiety.
References
- https://childmind.org/article/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-children-are-anxious/
- https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/children-and-young-adults/advice-for-parents/anxiety-in-children/
- https://www.psych4schools.com.au/free-resource/for-parents-assist-your-child-with-stress-and-worry/
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