Narcissists have a mental health condition where their sense of self-importance is unreasonably high. They’re egotistic, have no empathy for others, and have an extreme need for excessive admiration and attention for others. A narcissistic partner is usually self-centered, manipulative, hard to feel a connection with them, and probably verbally abusive or aggressive. Persons with this disorder might not be able to care for or understand other people’s feelings.
If you’re married to a narcissist, you might experience low self-esteem, unhealthy relationships with others, and mental health struggles resulting from enduring narcissistic abuse. This article outlines five signs you’re married to a narcissist.
1. Your partner smears you on others
Narcissistic smear attacks are intense campaigns meant to humiliate you while simultaneously uplifting the narcissist. Pulling this off successfully requires skill, persistence, and manipulation. However, this can be damaging and shocking to you. If you’re in a pending, unwanted divorce situation, your narcissistic husband or wife might regularly smear you to others as they beg for reconciliation.
Narcissists can do so with friends by making passive-aggressive remarks about you, which can then escalate to demeaning, sarcastic, and humiliating expressions. A narcissistic spouse might create misunderstandings between you and your family to gain sympathy. If you’re married to a narcissist and have had enough of their abuse, a certified narcissistic abuse specialist can help you through the divorce process.
2. They lack empathy
Empathy is about understanding what others are going through and trying to feel their pain. Narcissists aren’t empathetic. They lack empathy, which makes it difficult for them to understand others’ perspectives and feelings or even apologize. If your partner is narcissistic, they might be very critical of you, feel like you’re too sensitive, not value your opinions, be incapable of coping with emotional situations, and be confused by others’ emotions.
They’re unforgiving, especially when you make a mistake, and they keep blaming you when something goes wrong. A lack of empathy may lead to poor communication and other problems in your marriage.
3. Your spouse is arrogant
Someone with a narcissistic personality disorder considers themselves superior to others. Narcissists see themselves as special. However, they might behave or speak to you rudely because they deem you inferior. This may cause them to become abusive or rude when they aren’t treated how they think or feel they deserve.
4. You don’t feel the connection
While a narcissistic partner can be very charming initially, they can be suffocating and controlling in a relationship. They quickly get jealous, feel threatened, and are quick to feel hurt, causing them to lash out. Since a narcissistic spouse struggles to love themselves, loving you and others around them can be a struggle. Unfortunately, they also cannot empathize with your emotions.
Narcissists see relationships as transactional, meaning you can only be of value if you can meet their needs. When in a marriage with a narcissist, it’s possible to feel quite lonely. And since they act like they’re always right, feeling connected to them can be difficult.
5. You feel manipulated
A narcissistic spouse constantly makes threats and uses manipulation tricks throughout your relationship. While they might not say it directly, you’ll feel that things could go wrong if you don’t give in to their demands or do something for them.
If you’re married to a narcissistic partner and aren’t aware of it yet, you might lose yourself. However, identifying a narcissist can help you find strategies to manage your narcissistic spouse.